It's My Life

Lambir National Park

2009-11-24T23:49:00.001+08:00

Today I woke up around 10 something. Then lay down on my bed for one hour sms-ing. After that I suddenly I remembered that I needed to go to Lambir to help Hui gor with his event. This event was for 2 biggest pharmaceutical companies, Pfizer and Wyeth which just got merged and the regional marketing team for both companies came to Miri to have meetings and get together sessions. It was weird to think that a company that big would pick Miri this small city to have their meeting.

So, I prepared myself showered had a fast brunch and waited for Hui gor to come and pick me up. I waited and waited. Until it was already 12 so, I called him. He was already on his way to Lambir already. Luckily I called. Then, after he picked me, we went to Miri Heritage to pick up an Iban Uncle who sells handicrafts and also blow pipes and a Curtin Student who was going to teach them traditional dance.

After that, we head to the National Park. It was a long journey. Once we arrived, we unloaded everything. From there, we had to move everything to the waterfall. It was a 10 minutes plus walk from the entrance to the waterfall. Everyone had their own things to carry.

The waterfall we went to. There were a few more.

Reading the signs. Alot of accidents happened here.

What a sight.

At the waterfall, we set up the games and the table for the refreshment. Then, I tired the blow pipe. I was the first time in my life that I tried hitting a target with a blow pipe. It was fun. I eventually understood how to aim and shoot.

Trying to hit the bullseye.

The long ass blow pipe.

Then, I was asked to head back to the entrance with Terry, Dick and Simon 老师. We were going back there to prepare for the arrival of the guest. Upon arrival they were suppose to put their hands on white plaster (like superstars in Hollywood) and have their hand printed on it. It was a failure. It was due to the limited time and inefficient amount of plaster.

The plaster in powder form.

So, they decided to just move on to the waterfall. At the waterfall they learned to dance, make traditional Chinese biscuit shaped like bee hives, learn how to use blow pipe and light refreshments. While they were still shooting balloons with the blow pipe, the sky start to turn dark and it was about to rain so they were asked to go out and we started packing the stuffs.

Unfortunately, by the time we finished packing everything and started to head back to the entrance, the rain started pouring down. It was quite heavy. When we reached the entrance, we were all wet and cold.

Head home after that. Took a hot shower.

Not everything went according to plan. Overall it was fun and enjoyable.

It had been so long since I last went outdoor hiking.

Today. An expensive Wednesday.

2009-11-18T21:52:00.002+08:00

Today I spent RM8252++. I bet you must be wondering what the hell I bought. I paid my course fees for this semester with the money I got from Yayasan Sarawak. I finally got the time to go to RHB bank and did an interbank transfer to the Uni's Maybank Account.

I was impressed with the service i got at the RHB bank Boulevard outlet. I was better compared to the last time. I remembered the last time I went there to open my banking account, it took me around 30 minutes to reach the counter and they asked me to fill up a form. Then it took me another 30 minutes to get the form submitted and then I was asked to wait for another 25 minutes before my bank account was approved. This time it was different. Once I step into the banking hall, a worker approach me and asked me what she could help me with then I told her that I was here to pay my course fee. She immediately took out a form and instructed me on how to fill it. I did notice how long it took me but I am sure that it was less than 30 minute and everything was done.

Then after that me and my gf went to parkson to "lepak" cause my mom asked me to pick my bro and sis in school at 4.30. It was only 2.45 then so we decide to go shopping. Ever since her iPanema slippers got bitten by the bitch she had to pass by this shoe shop to look a new slipper. Today it was the same old routine. The only difference was this time; she saw a new slipper that she liked. So she went in and bought the slippers. I could tell she was really happy.

The Slipper she bought.

Then we walk around parkson until we finally had no place to look at anymore and decided to head to starbuck for a drink.

waiting for our drinks.

The drinks we ordered. Dark Mocha and Toffle Nut Latte.

There were brown surgar on my whip cream. Which she said look like "nose shit".

Once we sat down at starbucks. I was shocked by the sound I heard. It was nihongo. It was weird. 3 girls at the late 20's talking in nihongo and they were so happy. Although i couldn't understand what they were so happily discussing about. It was something like this:

1st lady: bla bla bla....

2nd lady: Soo Soo Soo.... bla bla bla....

3rd lady: Zen Zen..... bla bla bla....

1st lady:..... bla bla bla....

3rd lady: Sugoi.... bla bla bla....

Then it was like a cycle. I could hear occationally loud "Soo Soo...." and also "Sugoi...". It was funny.

After starbucks, we went to chung hua. Pick my siblings and head home. Then everything was normal. Dinner. Senadin. Shower. Now.

That’s it.

I had fun.

Cao.

Got out of the room.

2009-11-17T21:25:00.000+08:00

I finished my exams for quite some time now. Ever since then I had been stuck at home. Today, I went back to campus to played badminton. It was the only sport that I played for the past year. It was fun and I had a good sweat.

The only bad thing about it was now, my right hand hurt like fire burning on it. I guess that's the price to pay for not exercising for so long.

I guess that all I did a part from watch drama at home on my laptop.

Lately i have been watch this english sitcom call "The Big Bang Theory". Its so funny. I think while laughing I learned some physic or was it some kick ass theories but I dont seem to remember what it is.

I like the slogan. "Smart is the new sexy."

Basically this story is about 4 genius friends who work in Caltech and how they try thier best to find girlfriends. This story has 3 seasons so far and the third season is still airing. Highly recomemded for those who like the laugh at people who are smart. If being smart means I have to be like them i would prefer not to.

The bitch and her owner combo.

2009-11-15T23:22:00.002+08:00

Well.... after so long I have no longer any interest in blogging but today one thing disgusting thing made me really wanna tell the world about.

This is how it started. Today, there was a really good scientist from Canada who used to work in the ministry of defence came to Miri and had a series of biblical seminary. Mostly focusing on how science is the proof for religion and there is no comflict between them. He enlightens me about alot of the the issues written in the book of Revelation.

He even showed us a fraction of the wood fossil believed to be from the Noah's Ark found on the Ararat Mountain in Turkey.

As can be seen in the picture I've taken, this dried fraction of the wood found looks like a rock but it is already tested and proven that this pieace is a fossilized wood.

Then after the seminary ended, sent my gf back home. At the door welcoming our return was the stupid Labrador Retriever that i freaking hate and the bitch's poop and the worst smell to ever enter my nostrils.

The piece of the shit on the floor.

I taught that was already the worst part of it but the bitch and her owner ten to surprise me with the level of disgusting-ness that they can create. Its like a combo. When you go to KFC and buy yourself a snack plate they give you mash and coleslaw.

It looks better then the original condition of the bowl.

My 3.2 MP phone camera can only bring out 50% of the disgusting level of the toilet bowl when I saw it. It was like a 3 year old kid playing with tissue paper in the toilet and poop and pee all around. (words could not describe clearly how it happen)

I was really speechless when I saw it. I actually wanted to pee but after seeing this i think my pee just rush back into my bladder and beg me not to make them go to such disgusting toilet bowl.

Finished my sem.

2009-11-11T22:31:00.001+08:00

Update.

2009-08-19T20:20:00.009+08:00

Last week was the welcoming party for the Curtin Lifestyle club, which somehow, i dont know how, i became commmity of. I was incharge of BBQ-ing. So i BBQ-ed the whole time. Untill one point i could feel like my fingers were all BBQ-ed. It kinda hurt.

The newest BBQ style. Using the Umbrella.

After that was the after welcoming party steambot gathering for some of the commity of the club. Ate alot of beef which was not eaten during the welcoming party. Had fun talking and joking.

Glad everyone else enjoyed the welcoming party while i BBQ-ed myself. XD

Let me end this post by quoting Ah Lik "In all the bbq i go to with Joshua, He is the one always infront of the BBQ pit."

Peace Out.

It Has Been So Long

2009-08-19T10:50:00.004+08:00

I haven been updating the blog for so long.....

Alot has happen during those silent times, I dont know where to start.

My sem break was pack with eating activties, making me fatter. All and all, it was a fun filled and enjoyable semester break.

Got to rush out for the 11.00 o'clock shuttle.

Chao.

p.s will be updating very soon

Due Date for Income Tax Filling

2009-04-30T10:24:00.011+08:00

Yesterday i went to the Lembaga Hasil Dalam Negeri office to help my parents to do e-filling. When i reached there i saw a lot of cars parked beside the road in front of the LHDN office and the car park was full.

When we reached the LHDN office, it was so hot. Waiting for my dad to prepare his documents.

After collecting all the documents me, my girlfriend and my dad when into the office. It was packed with people doing last minute filling just like us. Well i guess all the officers at the office already know that because i remember last year it was also the same situation. I think it has became a tradition that Malaysians like to do things last minute. Especially government related stuffs.

People doing e-filling in a special area. There were around 10 to 15 computers and laptops provided for e-filling purposes.

The amount of people waiting on the waiting area when we reached there. My dad got number 17 and it was 5 when we reached there.

It was fast compared to when you are making your passport. The waiting time was around 10 to 15 mins only. I was shock at how fast it was. Cause normally if it is gorvernment related the word slow and long waiting time comes to every Malaysians' mind. Like when i went to had my passport done, it took me atleast 3 hours to just fill in the form, submit and pay.

Well, maybe the government has improved. I think we should always give them a chance to change. XD being so good to our government. Not used to it.

I heard another shocking news yesterday Sarawak's Chief Minister's Wife, Datuk Amar Laila Taib died.

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2009/4/30/nation/3803820&sec=nation

To me, it was neither a sad news nor a happy one. Most Sarawakians would know why.

Right now my girlfriend is on the bas back to sibu. Take care, BB. Sorry i didn't accompany you back. Maybe next time. XD

peace out.

For the one I love and cherish.

2009-04-23T09:57:00.002+08:00

Its not that i no longer care. Somethings that i have faced and gone through made me what I am today. No one would understand how much pain and disgraces this chains of events has cause and brought into my life. Its like the whole world around me collapses into ashes with just knowing the truth. At that point no one or nothing matters anymore. The lowest point in life some people call it. To me, its the darkest days anyone can ever experience.

No one in a prefect family would ever understand the pain I went through. Those days were like hell on earth to. Day by day the pain increase in me, killing me slowly deep inside. Nothing to hold on to just me alone facing all of this so called "truth". More like receiving punishment. Having this as apart of my life now. I can only say its the part where I can change into someone different. Its like the border of good and evil.

Most of you out there having a happy loving family, love your parents, love your siblings. In just one second things may change and you will no longer be able to do so even when given the chance and opportunity.

I don't know what God has prepare for me in the future. Will i ever feel the warmth of a complete family? But i know one day when all of this is over, I would be able to feel the comfort of my Heavenly Father.

Its not that I no longer care. The pain cannot be shared without experiencing it yourself.

Please don't shed tears again.

Having hold all the pain and anger inside of me, i may have become someone you no longer know. My heart is still there for you. Just me time. I know I always say let the rage go and I myself is not doing it. The pain in me is too hugh to just let go. I letting it go bit by bit.

I am sorry.

Hope this sorry wont be useless or too late.

With all my heart.

Limits in Life

2009-03-25T19:08:00.002+08:00

Something happened today to surpassed my limit. My limit in enduring people's insulting jokes. Some people just never think before they start saying things that can really piss someone off. The think that as long as its among friends its always okay. Let me tell you something, everyone has a limit to how much one can endure. Its doesn't really matter if it was just a joke or just something not important to you. It maybe not important to you, but it maybe be something that the other person cares about.

Its not that the person can't take jokes but THINK before you start spitting shit out of your dam mouth. Just a few seconds is all you need to change your stupidness into something rasional. So, use you brain. THINK. What will I feel if someone said the samething to me? Let this questions be in your mind before you start spitting shit out your mouth next time. Just try and give it a 3 sec thought. I can tell you, you can make other people's life better and safe yourself some trouble.

Will, this is all i can say thoose who always think that its always just for a laugh. It maybe a laugh for you but to that person. He/She will get hurt. This pain will always be there the next second he/she sees you.

So, I've decide that friends who never think about how you feel, is a friend worth losing. There is nothing left to be said.

Peace out

My Uni life so far....

2009-03-20T16:31:00.002+08:00

It has been quiet some time since i last updated my life on this blog. I guess its once again the time to compile all that has happen in my uni life so far. One blink and 4 weeks of my 1st year has passed by me like flash right before my eyes. I can feel it already the semester one finals.

To recall what i have learned so far in my degree, i would say a lot of new things, some bored me to death and some keeps me wondering, How did God created all this things by just saying? Amazed. If God could create all this just by saying, there is nothing that He cannot do.

We can't see what is in front of us but i believe its all the best things that God wants us to experience. Once, someone told me that everything that we experience today, God has already consider the past, the present and the future. So, basically its the best for us to just appreciate everything that we undergo in life.

This 4 weeks I have been busy doing my assignments and stuff. We are asked to setup an engineering company. Mine is call Travity Engineering. Doing all this stuffs got me to realise that its not easy to survive in this competitive society. Not to say climb to the top of the society pyramid. But, non of this is my main concern now. The only thing I am focus in doing now is completing my degree in 4 years time.

Well, Thats all from me for now.

Peace Out.

Australia

2009-01-05T13:47:00.004+08:00

I went to the cinema for a movie with some of my friends. 5 of us went there and didn't know what to watch. Then one of my friend said why not watch Australia. So after all of us agreed, Mr. Chong who was suppose to buy the tickets, went to the guy who was looking after the entrance and asked that guy if we can go in through some other way. After some negotiation, the guy agreed to let us in with RM4 per person. Then, i my mind i thought, WOW! this guy really knows his where to safe money.

So we went into the cinema. No expectations.

The movie was 2 hours and 45 minutes.

*In northern Australia at the beginning of World War II, an English aristocrat inherits a cattle station the size of Maryland. When English cattle barons plot to take her land, she reluctantly joins forces with the drover to drive 2,000 head of cattle across hundreds of miles of the country's most unforgiving land, only to still face the bombing of Darwin, Australia, by the Japanese forces that had attacked Pearl Harbor only months earlier.

This movie has basically 3 parts. The first part was about the Lady Sarah Ashley who goes to her inherited cattle station to find it, in a big mess. Then in this first part you can also see how the Australia aborigines was treated back in the days. A lot of racism in the 1st part.

Then the story developed into a romance between the Drover starred by Hugh Jackman and Lady Sarah Ashley starred by Nicole Kidman.

In the finally part towards the end, the War World II begin and the story develops into a happy ending.

The Character i like the most in the movie. King George. He is so cool. Always standing with one leg. This dude has magic power. He is also a very good spear man. He can sing you to him. XD

I highly recommend this movie.

It deserve a 4 out of 5 overall.

*summary from AMD movies

Looking back on 2008

2008-12-31T10:19:00.003+08:00

This year of mine started with lots and lots of disappointments. First my SPM result, was like a hit to the back of my head, telling me I am not always that luck to get good result with only so little effort put into studying last minute. I finally realise that all the doors in front of me are sealed shut. All my hopes and dreams fall down on to me and crush me. Weeks i could only stare blindly at the wall of my room. Thinking of nothing at all. The only person that was there for me was my mom. Everything and everyone was against me except her, being there telling me that its all rite, no matter what happen she will be there for me. I was not as optimistic compared to her. All i know then was my life that i planned was all gonna. She tired all her best to comfort me. Bringing to see consultants to look at the options i got. Thanks to her i was able to move on.

Then, followed by me failing my Semester One Engineering Maths, this time i didn't felt as bad as my SPM. I think i was mostly because i dropped my own standard. Failing to me, became normal. I told myself, again, i let my mom down again. I felt sad not because i fail it was because once again my mom didn't blame me, instead she say try harder make sure you pass next time.

If i was to put the 1st half of my 2008 into just one word it would be just DISAPPOINTMENT.

The start of the new semester, i told myself its time to set this right. No more disappointment, no more emo-ness. I am gonna make sure my life is back on track. Then i found her. She became a part of my life sharing my joy and sorrow. Caring for me. Asking me to study hard.

Then, my world started to get its colour back.

2008 suddenly to me is starting to work out. Things starting to change for the better. My result for semester 2 was a lot better then my semester 1 result. Good things started to happen my loan got approved.

Too many things happened this year. All of it has pasted. Looking forward, I am aiming to finish my course with good standings and hopefully my loan will change into a scholarship and hopefully i won't disappoint the ones i love again. Thank God for He has never forsaken me eventhough when I face problems I would always blame Him.

Two Days after Christmas

2008-12-27T13:10:00.002+08:00

My Christmas this year was... how to say... Normal... Nothing Special about it...

The only regret this year, was i wasn't able to celebrate my dear's birthday with her. Hope this won't happen next. I hope next year it would be different. Hmm.. i think i'll have to start planing now.

I got nothing for christmas but, this year was interesting enough that I think that my life this year can be said to be a very good present to me. Will to think of it God gave me a pretty good christmas present, I am going to year 1, yeah! My student loan also got approved. That i have to thank God, as He heard my prayers.

Finally, looking forward to the brand new year. New hopes, new wishes and new targets to achive.

Maybe today next year i'll be someone different. Looking forward to it. XD

Like a friend* of mine who decided to change heading into the year 2009. I wonder how long till he change back to the normal him.

*now known as KAI

Update

2008-11-29T16:03:00.003+08:00

Holiday Season is here. After the exams, my mind went totally blank. I couldn't think of anything that i wanted to do.

Then next day, my foundation group 2E3 had a BBQ at tanjong. Really had fun. Gonna miss most of the people in the group. Hope that i can go to degree next year. XD

I'm really bored rite now.

What can i do in Miri??!

According to jackie:

Jackie says:
theres nothing to do in miri...
Jackie says:
1. yamcha
Jackie says:
2. sports
Jackie says:
3. movie
Joshua says:
nothing liao lo

Well, i'll have to agree....

The day has come.

2008-11-16T16:01:00.003+08:00

Finally the day i've been working hard for is tomorrow. This semester has come to the end. It was like a blink of an eye. Couldn't really recall what i did this semester but it was surely the best of uni life i have so far. I hope the years to come in uni would be even best then this sem.

Wish me luck in my exams. I can't wait for the exams to end.

EM1 is going down. I wont fail again!! *i hope*

A day in the library.

2008-11-11T22:57:00.006+08:00

Today, i spent more then 5 hours in the campus's library STUDYING. I was seriously studying. No joke people. Joshua Swee finally decided to study. No more free loading.

I can finally proudly say that I studied in the library.

In my group, I am always called the Free-Loading King. A title which I am proud to have. But now you all just have to admit it that Kai Meng should be given this title this is because he totally beat me in free loading skills.

The Free Loading Ranking in 2E3:

1st : Kai Meng
2nd: Joshua Swee (proud to be here)
3rd*: Ezra Lee (aka Dr. Lee)

My head was really heavy after I studied.

*The names in the 3rd position changes as time passes. Different people in the group raises to hold this prestigious title.

Days before the finals.

2008-11-10T23:21:00.003+08:00

Counting the days to the finals. I really don't know how much more do I have to learn so that I fail again and repeat .

I don't really have confident anymore after my continuous bad result i got starting with my SPM. I lost all my confident in myself. I don't think I dare put confident in myself. Everyone is scared of failures.

I've gone through alot of failures. I understand how bad it feels to go through it and facing the results of the failure.

Hope that this time working hard would be enough for me to get into degree.

High School Musical 3

2008-10-26T22:53:00.002+08:00

Few days ago i went to the cinema with my friends. We as in the boys in the group was force into agreeing to watch High School Musical 3. Which to us was a GAY movie.

In this new sequel of High School Musical, it tells the story of Troy and Gabriella struggle with the idea of being separated from one another as college approaches. Along with the rest of the Wildcats, they stage a spring musical to address their experiences, hopes and fears about their future.

Well, throughout this movie, i was half sleeping, a quarter listening to the little girls talking behind of us about how cool and handsome Zac Efron is and how beautiful the dress Vanessa was wearing and the other quarter i was watching the movie while trying to not get annoyed by the singing.

I was really uncomfortable with the singing part in the movie. I know its a musical but its like couldn't they just sick with dialogs instead of starting to sing all of a suddenly. I really dont get the musical concept, to me its just like hindu movie where the sing when ever something good happens and out of no way alot of "ke le fe" come out.

Overall i would give this movie a 2.5 of of 5. Just pass.

Couldn't say it totally suck, cuz it ended with a happy ending. I won't spoil. xD

Busy Week

2008-10-24T04:42:00.002+08:00

This week is a very busy week for me. A lot of due dates that i am working hard to meet. It's like a roller coster. I did my ESC presentation, Chemistry Lab and Physic Lab all in one day. It was really really tiring. Its things like this that makes me really lazy to go to school.

After this tiring week, THE FINALS awaits in 2 weeks time. Haven started preparing anything but hope to not screw up again in the finals. I dont wanna fail again. Or i should put it in another way. I have no more chance if i fail again this time. Thats why i cannot fail any units this sem no matter what it takes.

peace out.

Sorry Dude.

2008-10-10T22:12:00.002+08:00

Today is a day I'll remember for a long time. A lot really can happen in one day. I made a friend emo. I really don't know what i should do but i think its already too late for me to do anything for him.

In this story, my friend likes this girl. Then, he tried so hard to make this girl like him but then nothing seems to be working. Eventually, thanks to me my other friend got this girl to be his girlfriend. I help keep this as a secret from my 1st friend. I really don't know if i didn't the rite thing or not. Today my 1st friend found out about this and I regret keeping it a secret from him. I can only say its already too late. Was it a right choice to keep it a secret? i keep asking myself but all i can get is "I don't know".

Both are my friends. I don't wan anyone of them to feel bad but now it seems like both of them are feeling bad.

Love is really something hard to predict and say. One can fall in love in one second. Others can take years to just have only a small spark between them. I can only say only God has the heart to love everyone. Having a chance to love is something that God has giving to everyone on earth. Appreciating it is a way to thank God for this priceless gift.

Now can only hope things would get better and both of my friends can once again look at each other and smile.

p.s.
The identities of the people above will be kept secret.

SORRY.

Not every ordinary sunday

2008-10-05T23:47:00.006+08:00

Like every Sunday i started with going to church but with a slight difference, this week i was posted to look after the kids downstairs. Looking at them let me think back to the time when i use to be there sitting down listening to the teacher in charge telling us stories from the bible. Those were the time when i was closest to god everyday i could feel him taking care of my life. I can't say He doesn't take care of me anymore but its my relationship with God which i feel is less intimate compared to before.

Then my day continued, i had lunch at Sibuti/Bekenu*. The very famous Prawn Noodles!!

It was fantastic. The price is also wonderfully expensive that plate of Prawn Noodles cost me RM7. Not only that it took me half an hour to get a bite at it. It was really a very long wait. Thinking about it, i think the fantastic taste of the noodles made it worth the long wait.

This meal cost me around RM10.60. I had two cans of 100Plus and a plate of Prawn noodles. Not expensive compare to eating at places like Secret Recipe, etc.

Then i went to a funeral. A dramatic change of atmosphere isn't it? One of my church member passed away. He was my father's friends. I could still remember him helping out during big church functions when i followed my dad. I remembered him as a very nice person. May he rest in peace. Hope god bless his family.

After going to the funeral, i went back home and changed to my sports wear. Went to church and wanted to play basketball at 1st, then decided to play ping pong instead. I had fun play back ping pong after such a long time.

Then i went back home had my shower and i am out again. This time with someone special and some friends. We went to Dave deli. One word. Sucks. Nothing more can describe the food i had there. After the disappointing dinner we went across the street to Imperial mall. Where i bought new earphones.

The Altec Lancing CHP307

Well, thats all bout today that i am going to share.

What a day.

*Both names can be use for the place.

Today's Me

2008-10-02T02:51:00.009+08:00

Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir dan Batin.

Today is hari raya, i woke up at around 10. Saw a msg form my friend asking me whether i wanna go visiting or not. I decided to go visit one of my malay friend whose mom is our physics lecturer. We went to his house without facing any difficulty apart for this one little incident where my friend almost lost control of the car and knock a lamp post. To think about it, for the past week i have been in 2 accident, both involving me sitting in the front sit.

This is the 1st accident i was involved in, as seen in the pic the car my friend drove bang in to the side of and Proton Iswara hitting the driver sit. Luckily no serious injuries was caused.

Okay, back to the topic.

After visiting, me and my friends went to the newly opened Starbucks to try it out. Well, if you ask me the taste of the coffee is not bad. I had a Venti Caramel Macchiato. Which is causing me to stay awake up till now. Such power lying in one cup of coffee, unbelievable.

After all that i went home and my mom told me that i need to go down to my uncle's coffee shop to help out cuz his indon worker ran away. Sad. I was forced to go. So i spent 9 hours at my uncle's shop helping him out. At last i could go home.

My uncle's shop rite after we clean up and prepare to head home.

Will, that is it for today's the incredible adventure of Joshay de kuza.

The day before Raya.

2008-09-30T23:16:00.006+08:00

Today, i started my day by quarrelling with my mom. Then, my bad mood continued on with i reached campus. One of my fren told me that he haven do the lab report which is due today. Not only that, the night before i was rushing an introduction for todays lab and when i reach my group member said that it must be hand written and nothing i prepared could be used. Today, started as a fucking bad day.

Then, after lab i rushed to the new study area and tried my best to finish the report. Luck for me one of my classmate was willing to help me by letting me look at his report. Thanks to him i was able to finish my report with some time to spare. THANK YOU AIK HUI !!! =)

Then, we went to frantini to enjoy the last day of the 50% ramadhan promotion. Resulting in a RM144.xx bill. The value of money this days, really hard to except. After the meal the 5 of us went to marina bay. Looking at the sea at marina bay really let me to alot of thinking. Looking at the waves hitting on the rocks and listening to the sound made me relaxed and totally forgot about all the worries in my mind. It also helped me to forget about the bad this that took place in the morning.

Seating on the rocks for hours and watching waves after waves hit on to the rock lead me to think about what lies ahead of me in the future. Decisions i make now may affect the outcome of my future. All this were in my mind at that moment.

Hope that what ever lies ahead of me won't be something the is produced from something i regret doing.

Not to forget my malay frens, Selamat Hari Raya.

chao.

Endless

2008-09-29T20:18:00.002+08:00

I just got nag by my mom about the study loan. I know my family financial problem is avoiding me to not worry about my fees in Uni. I really don't know how am I going to cop with this kind of pressure and score in my final. I really dont wanna disappoint my mom but i really can help it but think what if i really fail again this time?? What is going to happen to me?? I am really scared the day will come when i have to again decide what to do in the future. Why can't i just finish my Degree and go on with life like most of the people. Why? I keep asking myself.

*sigh*

Hiking

2008-09-29T20:00:00.003+08:00

Yesterday i went hiking. Everyone was very happy at first then when the route started i feel my long unexercised legs suddenly felt like it was not mine. After awhile she started to not feel right then she asked me to slow down for a rest then we rested for awhile she didn't wanna go on. So, i decided to bring her out. She didn't wanna move at all. After i tried my best to ask her to move she finally started moving backwards. After sometime we manage to get back to the main road. Overall i enjoyed the day although i didn't finish the whole route.

Silent Time

2008-08-28T21:21:00.004+08:00

This post is for my grandpa.

May he rest in peace.

T.T

Sometimes

2008-08-19T00:32:00.003+08:00

It has been sometime since my last post, alot has change since then. My appearence in particular. I changed my hair style which alot say suited me alot. I got sick. Influenza. Now that i notice, i get sick quite often. Maybe its a sign saying my body can't take alot of pressure.

Last weekend was one meaningfull weekend. I went to help out at a fund raiser, had alot of fun and at the same time get to help Lu Zhou*. It was a successful event. Everything went on as planned with some problems here and there, but basically everything was awesome.

I finally can let go. Proud of myself. Having let go is like giving myself another chance of enjoying the world in another way. To prove that other then god we can lose everything and still life on with life.

* an organization for youth

p.s. Life have never been so light and awesome.

Thursday

2008-07-31T22:56:00.002+08:00

Classes started for awhile already now, everything is start to go on traks and Uni life is starting to get abit more interesting then last semester. Having less time to hang out and game at the library makes me think that i should have use those time to study last sem and maybe i wont have to retake Math this sem. What done is done i told myself, nothing more that i can do about it. I just have to appreciate every minute and seconds of this semester as much as possible.

I am trying to find something to replace the emptiness in me, i guess it wont be easy as there is a hell lot of emptiness within me. Maybe alot of work and reports can make me forget about those empty spaces inside of my but once i become free and start to relax the emptiness becomes so obvious.

I am glad that i went back to Uni.

Well, thats it.

The Repeaters

2008-07-28T23:06:00.002+08:00

Today i finally went back to campus. I saw alot of new and excited faces and i tell myself they still dont know how suffering it will be when the courses starts running. Those excited faces will be lost forever.

This semester alot have changed, the way things are have change no more stressed over individual reports which consist so little to the final marks anymore. They finally heard our voices. This was the good news but when there is good news then there must be also bad news. This semester we don't get to choose who we work with anymore. Which is like a huge draw back to the good news of no individual report.

Starting today i officially join The Repeaters Group. Thats the name of the group that the school has arrange us into. They just can't think of a better name to call us i guess so they went for the easiest name they could come out with. I really wonder what this teacher can do to help us. Mr. Rajah, he claims to have a 100% pass class but i doubt his capablity to make all of us pass. This comes with a strong reason. Last semester he tought us physics and guess what? i was totally blur about physics untill the new teacher came and took over.

Thats all.

A new start

2008-07-28T00:00:00.002+08:00

My holiday has at last come to an end. It was a holiday full with colours. Had alot of fun and also had the lowest time of my life. Waiting for the time to pass was like hell. Its a part of life as i see it.

I have more to learn out of everything i have experience for this pas weeks. Making me a better and more mature person in life. Giving me a different perceptive in life and also in the way i should live it. Brought me back to god and make me realise that only in Him that i can success in anything.

Don't know why memories of us together still flashs through my mind and making regret giving up. Maybe thats why ppl always say you should give up when you're still able to. Not like me, pushing on although i know one day when things can't go on i'll not be able to forget everything i've done to maintain this.

Well that's it.

Update

2008-07-25T10:31:00.002+08:00

Looking back at the past post made me feel like laughing. I was that naif little boy, think that as long as you work hard and give it all you got everything would work out. Turns out that naif little boy had a great fall and now rose again to be less believing and more realistic. The way the world spins can really change the point of view of the people in it.

Free from promises I feel light. Its like i don't have anymore things to think about and to do. Well maybe its called emptiness. Deep inside i can hear so tiny part of my tell me to not give up, you have gone so far, its too late to give up now. If only i could just press a delete button and delete that sound, i'll be happier in life.

Turns out i really failed my math. Something i can only regret and not complain. It was totaly my fault that this would happen. So, thats about all the updates i wanna type out today.

JOi.

Today

2008-07-03T00:38:00.003+08:00

Still having this misunderstanding with a very important person in my life. I dont know if she is still mad at me or not but i can't contact her this few days wondering if she is doing fine or not. This feeling is something i always experience. Maybe the 6409 kilometers is making us dirft away from each other. I dont really know but as far as I am concern, I am trying my best to make sure this work out. Hoping that one day see a smile on her face, seeing me be someone important.

Today i went for an eye test for the course i am going to attend on next monday. I went to this local clinic. When me and my fren when in to the clinic and ask to have a eye test the nurses there was like "WTF!! What is this two boys doing, coming here for an eye test? This is a clinic not a glasses shop!!" that's what i see from their reaction. After some explaination they finally understand and we did the eye test. i was unhappy with the nurses there, it's like i owe them money or something they were like unwilling to do their job.

I had an unpleasent moment with my mom, sometimes i just don't understand what she wants. blaming me for something i did not screwed up. Really pissed. But there is nothing i could do she is my mom. The woman who gave birth and raise me till I am this big. I should thank her more then i curse her.

That's part of my life today.

Misunderstand

2008-06-28T23:17:00.002+08:00

Sometimes the way you put your word can make people think of something else something you was not trying to say. This misunderstandings are what i experience today. The way you look at messages and the way you reply them sometimes results in something you would never have expected. Things like this not only can influence what people think and also the relantionship you have with that individual seems meaningless. No wonder people say "watch what you're saying" cause when you don't even realise it sometime people are already hurt by things you're saying or messages you sent.

Having to watch the way and what you are saying most of the time is some thing us as normal humans tend to fail in. Most of the time i would think that when you are in a certain level with someone, either you are best friends or partners, there would be a certain level of understanding between the two that when something wrong comes out from me the other would know that i didn't mean it. Which i am very sure that the misunderstanding i just had, shouldn't have happen but it did. Maybe sometimes in reality things cannot be assumed.

Well, i ran out of words and have too many things to worry about.

end

Gave up.

2008-06-25T22:49:00.002+08:00

Today went to campus for my math test which i was totally not prepared to face. I reach to campus and was shock because i thought the math test was going to be at 3 p.m but when i reach campus and saw the time table, i knew i was totally screwed nothing else could be done.

Since there was nothing that could be done, i just went in to take the test. I took me a long time to start writing something on the paper. I finished to test, leaving alot of the part c question unanswered. I told myself i am gonna fail this one for sure.

Then i went to the library to "study". When me and my frens reach the library the air condition was not on. Non of us dare to switch it on. So we stayed in the library with air-con for more then an hour untill a girl from commerce switched it on and we were like " Shit man!! Why didnt we do that an hour ago??".

The programming test later was ok for me. i could almost do every question. XD

Alot my frens are worrying about the result which most of us think we did really badly.

Will what done is done. Nothing more can be added to change it. The most important thing is to enjoy it no matter good or bad.

Test, test and more test.

2008-06-23T21:35:00.003+08:00

Today was a very tough day for me.
Started the day with a freaking hangover.
The worst is yet to be written.
I had to rush to school, luckyly i was able to reach the campus in time.
Physics test, was like a total blur. Couldn't remember much about what i did in the Lecture Theater. I think i finished the whole paper. I hope so. The pain in my head was still bugging me really badly.
Didn't have much time to prepare for Writing and Research Skills, read through so of the sites i bookmarked and it was time for the test already. Thank god, my brain was still able to function and i made it through the test. Unbelievablely, i was even able to finish in an hour and twenty minutes.
Then, when i reach the final test, i couldn't care more. I could see everyone in the cafeteria holding notes but i was there sitting down with my laptop, chatting with Aaron and checking out the brotherhood blog. I went into the test without even looking at any notes but luckyly i was able to answer everything, that i was really sure.

After the test i went home, was chatting with jackie when he told me he did something really stupid today which i totally agreed with him. Why? the only word i can think of when he told me what happen. Sometimes being a good friend has a limit. True or not? XD

The delicious Raspberry Vodka.

My Life so far.

2008-06-03T22:07:00.005+08:00

It has been a long time since i updated this blog.
Almost forgotten that i have this blog.

My life has been like a roller coaster since that day i left secondary school. Going up and down. Alot of things that made me think alot. Mostly about how life is and that there is nothing that anyone can do to change it. Some times it really makes me wonder, why do we, as humans try so hard to make our life better ?

Sounds so emotional. XD

But that is was i have been wondering all this time after having experienced so many down moments in life. Thanks to the people around me that have always been there to help cand care about me. If not because of this people i guess life would have been even tougher for me then ever.

Today i just came back for a camp, "very tired" are the only two words that can describe how i feel now. This camp is another good experience that i can put into my long term memory. Something worth remembering. Alot of valuable lessons learnt and hopefully would be my guidelines in life and help me in the near future.

Well i guess this will be it for this post. The pain in my legs are really hurting me. I better get some sleep.

My 1st Post

2006-11-27T17:50:00.001+08:00

Well, after a friend asked me to create a blog, i took a long time thinking about what he said about everyone needing a blog......

So, after a long time thinking about it, i have decide to make 1 so that there is a place where i can keep a record of my life and at the same time tell people about my life.