Today, i started my day by quarrelling with my mom. Then, my bad mood continued on with i reached campus. One of my fren told me that he haven do the lab report which is due today. Not only that, the night before i was rushing an introduction for todays lab and when i reach my group member said that it must be hand written and nothing i prepared could be used. Today, started as a fucking bad day.
Then, after lab i rushed to the new study area and tried my best to finish the report. Luck for me one of my classmate was willing to help me by letting me look at his report. Thanks to him i was able to finish my report with some time to spare. THANK YOU AIK HUI !!! =)
Then, we went to frantini to enjoy the last day of the 50% ramadhan promotion. Resulting in a RM144.xx bill. The value of money this days, really hard to except. After the meal the 5 of us went to marina bay. Looking at the sea at marina bay really let me to alot of thinking. Looking at the waves hitting on the rocks and listening to the sound made me relaxed and totally forgot about all the worries in my mind. It also helped me to forget about the bad this that took place in the morning.
Seating on the rocks for hours and watching waves after waves hit on to the rock lead me to think about what lies ahead of me in the future. Decisions i make now may affect the outcome of my future. All this were in my mind at that moment.
Hope that what ever lies ahead of me won't be something the is produced from something i regret doing.
Not to forget my malay frens, Selamat Hari Raya.
chao.
I just got nag by my mom about the study loan. I know my family financial problem is avoiding me to not worry about my fees in Uni. I really don't know how am I going to cop with this kind of pressure and score in my final. I really dont wanna disappoint my mom but i really can help it but think what if i really fail again this time?? What is going to happen to me?? I am really scared the day will come when i have to again decide what to do in the future. Why can't i just finish my Degree and go on with life like most of the people. Why? I keep asking myself.
*sigh*
Yesterday i went hiking. Everyone was very happy at first then when the route started i feel my long unexercised legs suddenly felt like it was not mine. After awhile she started to not feel right then she asked me to slow down for a rest then we rested for awhile she didn't wanna go on. So, i decided to bring her out. She didn't wanna move at all. After i tried my best to ask her to move she finally started moving backwards. After sometime we manage to get back to the main road. Overall i enjoyed the day although i didn't finish the whole route.
This post is for my grandpa.
May he rest in peace.
T.T
It has been sometime since my last post, alot has change since then. My appearence in particular. I changed my hair style which alot say suited me alot. I got sick. Influenza. Now that i notice, i get sick quite often. Maybe its a sign saying my body can't take alot of pressure.
Last weekend was one meaningfull weekend. I went to help out at a fund raiser, had alot of fun and at the same time get to help Lu Zhou*. It was a successful event. Everything went on as planned with some problems here and there, but basically everything was awesome.
I finally can let go. Proud of myself. Having let go is like giving myself another chance of enjoying the world in another way. To prove that other then god we can lose everything and still life on with life.
* an organization for youth
p.s. Life have never been so light and awesome.
Classes started for awhile already now, everything is start to go on traks and Uni life is starting to get abit more interesting then last semester. Having less time to hang out and game at the library makes me think that i should have use those time to study last sem and maybe i wont have to retake Math this sem. What done is done i told myself, nothing more that i can do about it. I just have to appreciate every minute and seconds of this semester as much as possible.
I am trying to find something to replace the emptiness in me, i guess it wont be easy as there is a hell lot of emptiness within me. Maybe alot of work and reports can make me forget about those empty spaces inside of my but once i become free and start to relax the emptiness becomes so obvious.
I am glad that i went back to Uni.
Well, thats it.
Today i finally went back to campus. I saw alot of new and excited faces and i tell myself they still dont know how suffering it will be when the courses starts running. Those excited faces will be lost forever.
This semester alot have changed, the way things are have change no more stressed over individual reports which consist so little to the final marks anymore. They finally heard our voices. This was the good news but when there is good news then there must be also bad news. This semester we don't get to choose who we work with anymore. Which is like a huge draw back to the good news of no individual report.
Starting today i officially join The Repeaters Group. Thats the name of the group that the school has arrange us into. They just can't think of a better name to call us i guess so they went for the easiest name they could come out with. I really wonder what this teacher can do to help us. Mr. Rajah, he claims to have a 100% pass class but i doubt his capablity to make all of us pass. This comes with a strong reason. Last semester he tought us physics and guess what? i was totally blur about physics untill the new teacher came and took over.
Thats all.
