For the one I love and cherish.

Its not that i no longer care. Somethings that i have faced and gone through made me what I am today. No one would understand how much pain and disgraces this chains of events has cause and brought into my life. Its like the whole world around me collapses into ashes with just knowing the truth. At that point no one or nothing matters anymore. The lowest point in life some people call it. To me, its the darkest days anyone can ever experience.

No one in a prefect family would ever understand the pain I went through. Those days were like hell on earth to. Day by day the pain increase in me, killing me slowly deep inside. Nothing to hold on to just me alone facing all of this so called "truth". More like receiving punishment. Having this as apart of my life now. I can only say its the part where I can change into someone different. Its like the border of good and evil.

Most of you out there having a happy loving family, love your parents, love your siblings. In just one second things may change and you will no longer be able to do so even when given the chance and opportunity.

I don't know what God has prepare for me in the future. Will i ever feel the warmth of a complete family? But i know one day when all of this is over, I would be able to feel the comfort of my Heavenly Father.

Its not that I no longer care. The pain cannot be shared without experiencing it yourself.


Please don't shed tears again.


Having hold all the pain and anger inside of me, i may have become someone you no longer know. My heart is still there for you. Just me time. I know I always say let the rage go and I myself is not doing it. The pain in me is too hugh to just let go. I letting it go bit by bit.

I am sorry.

Hope this sorry wont be useless or too late.


With all my heart.